Monday, December 29, 2008

Crazy Dreams

I had this weird dream man. And you know how you like have a nightmare and it's so intense, even your leg tries to wake you up?

Your leg's like, "GET UP!"

Your leg kicks awake. And you wake up. This was the dream right. I was being chased by a giant crab. It's not funny. This huge like 50 foot crab.

He was chasing me down a beach and he was doing that crab run where he was like snapping at me with his little snappers. And he was after me all night long... he was trucking. He was doing like 100 miles an hour.

You know like when you're bring chased by a killer or a beast? In the dream they can run as fast as they want but you can't.... you're like "AH COME ON, I CAN'T MOVE!!"

But the crab is like eh... and his eyes were like shooting lighting out of its eyes and he was wearing little loafers or something. I dunno. Oh, my leg just went "GET UP!" And I woke up for like a second and then I went right back into the stupid dream. Which only happens with a nightmare.

If you're dreaming you're having a great time on a cruise, on vacation or whatever. You know how you like wake up and you pretend you're not awake? You try to trick yourself. Oh no! I'm not awake, I'm in Cancun! Nooooo!!!

But I fell back into the into the dream and the crab was like waiting for me. He was like UGH.... And I was like "NOT AGAIN!" All night long. And then I woke up and I called my buddy Mike. I had to tell somebody, he picks up the phone...

I'm like "Dude I had the weirdest dream last night."

And he goes all concerned, "What was you dream?"

I go,"I was being chased by a giant crab."

"What?! ... Dude, what?!" All the sudden he's like "Hold on!" and I hear like pages. *flip flip flip flip flip*

I go, "Dude what are you doing?"

"I have a dream book. I'm looking up crabs to see what they represent in my dream book. Dude, here it is... Crabs! Hold on Crabs. Uh crab....... um.... uh... it represents....... Dude.... you're gay......."

"That's why you were running away... cuz a crab represents sexuality cuz it doesnt know which way its going, and that's why you ran away. You were running away from your gayness!"

I said, "What about the lightning?"

"Uh... emphasizes the gay! That's what it says. If there's lighting around the crab, you're super gay. That's what it says right here. Super gay.

He wasn't wearing loafers was he? OH NO! Cuz that would mean you were mega ultra gay like a super hero gay!"

I don't think his dream book is very accurate.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

I don't ask for directions, I explore.

The GPS system was invented by a man. Not just a man.... but a married man. A man who got tired of repeated suggestions from the co-pilot.

"Look Roger, there is a 7-11... lets stop and ask an employee."

"I'm not lost! I'm trying familiarize myself with the area for the future!"

Roger was completely honest with that statement, because the future could be anything from now to anytime in the future or near future (like 5 min from now).

So why do men prefer to explore? Why do men prefer to try to accomplish tasks and read directions later? Why do men try to fix things without fully knowing what the problem is? Why do women put up with all of this?

If you can figure out the last question, you can figure out the others.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Response to Time Capsule

I actually still like this show. I bought season 1 on DVD. I'm not ashamed.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Response to time capsule

I can't believe this used to be my favorite show.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Friday, December 12, 2008

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The $50 Christmas

The last few years of Christmas have always ended the same way regardless on how much we spent. Each year I spent more money to achieve a better Christmas than the year before.

What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer; a time for balancing your books and having every item in 'em through a round dozen of months presented dead against you?

Last year I tried the PNH approach to Christmas by reading A Christmas Carol to the kids. I discovered my inadequacy very quickly. It appears that you have to be a bit of linguist to orate without error. Alas, we must leave that task to the expert. Maybe a digital recording of said reading will find it's way to our home next year. Until then, George C. Scott will have to do.

A few weeks ago I declared to my family. "This year is the $50 Christmas!" Which means each person has a budget of $10 to spend how they see fit. They can spend it all on one person or spread it out.

This makes one very creative and thoughtful on what to do. One of my most memorable Christmases as a child was when I sewed a couple of kitty pillows for Jenny. I had fun doing it and it seemed Jen liked them.

I tried to have a better holiday each year only to feel less satisfied. So here is my experiment. The $50 Christmas.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Friday, December 5, 2008

Now isn't that special?!?!

I was searching for something for a future blog when I found the heart-attack-on-a-stick. I laughed out loud due to unbelief and admiration. It sounds as gross as it looks, but strangely appetizing.

Here it is for your enjoyment!! A french fried covered piece of bacon. LOL!!!!!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Beastmaster Tribute

Listen for these 2 things....

2)Dungeons... Dragons... and Dar !!


Friday, November 21, 2008

Name the B movie from the 80s

An additional 10 points for the person who can guess the hero's name.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Hindsight is always 20/20

Which is worse?
1)Regret from not doing something that you probably should have done.
2)Regret for doing something you probably shouldn't have done.

Almost every time "regret" comes to my mind I think of The Last Unicorn.

Unicorn: I'm a little afraid to go home. I have been mortal, and some part of me is mortal yet. I am no longer like the others, for no unicorn was ever born who could regret, but now I do. I regret.
Schmendrick: I am sorry. I have done you evil and I cannot undo it.
Unicorn: No. Unicorns are in the world again! No sorrow will live in me with that joy... save one - and I thank you for that part, too.

That is an interesting theory. Being thankful for regret. Why is it that we like to be sad sometimes, and we don't want to be cheered up?

Do we sometimes subconsciously force ourselves to do something to regret, so that we can experience sorrow?

Maybe it is something we naturally do, so that we can vent out those repressed feelings and need an "excuse" to let it out.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Sometimes I don't want to hold back...

Every now and then I just want to put my manners or etiquette aside and just tell people how I really feel. It really is liberating.

"You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs!" -- The Joker

Life is too short to beat around the bush.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


I never got around to posting any pics from Halloween. Enjoy!!
You can click on each pic to "McSupersize" it.

Above picture is my "home-made" costume. It makes me a little over 7 feet tall. Pretty scary for a 5 year old.


Yes, that is Michael Meyers looking down from upstairs.


Above are creepy spiders and a killer clown named "Simmons".


It isn't halloween without a graveyard.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Want some pie?!?!?

I wasn't sure it was going to be a hit for everyone. Here is another.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Test blog

One step closer to Arnoldosis!

I am now 381 -- Down 5 pounds from last blog entry. BP is 127/72 which I was told was good. Resting heart rate 104. I still have work to do!!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Oh, Doctor, doctor... can't you see I'm burning, burning...

Ah, the Thompson Twerps!

I just got back from the doctor today for the 1st half of my physical. Since I have started my exercise regimen I've lost 15 pounds according to the doctor, in the last month or so. My BP has improved from borderline to good.

I'm sick and tired of being... sick and tired. I've made some good progress. I'm about 6 pounds away from my first target weight goal of 380. I topped out around 415 to 420 pounds. I lost track after I got past 400, because my scale screams "ERROR" past 400. (My doctor's scale goes to 600.)

My 2nd target weight loss goal is 360. I'm not perfect with my diet. I'm not perfect with my exercise. However, I am more consistent than I used to be.

I would like to look like the young Arnold instead of the old Arnold. But either Arnold is better than Fat Bastard.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

It's what you say, NOT how you say it.

Every now and then I have a chat with Matthew when he acts up and I have to intervene. Today he ended up hurting Nolan by way of rough housing.

I like to use metaphors to get my point across.

So I told Matthew, "When you make Nolan cry, it affects your Mom and Dad mentally and physically. It is like taking your fingernails and scratching the surface of a chalkboard." I motioned my fingers going down the chalkboard and cringing.

I got a blank stare. Deb joined in, "They have dry erase boards at schools now."

I thought for a second, and because I recently had a flu shot I decided to use that as the metaphor.

"Ok Matthew, making Nolan cry is like getting a flu shot. Instead of getting one of those thin needles you get one that is an inch thick."

Message received.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Reincarnation part 2

It comes down to what you were brought up believing. There are several religions that believe in reincarnation. There are over 2500 different gods and goddesses know to man.

If you believe in one of them and not the others you are an atheist to the other gods. Which god do you pray to for enlightenment?

Is it the Muslim god, the Jewish god, the Christian god, one of the Greek gods, one of the Hindu gods, one of the Celtic gods, one of the Egyptian gods?

There are so many, if your god is real and all the others are imaginary, how do you know? Did you do research on the others to make sure? Did you pray to the others to see if you could get an answer? Other religions that pray to their gods all affirm they have received answers to their prayers.

If there is only one true god then the prayers of the other religions would go unanswered. I want to believe there is a god out there, and sometimes I think there is because I grew up believing in it. If I had been born under different circumstances the god I grew up with would be someone else.

Reincarnation or Resurrection

It seems the Jews weren't in agreement on this as well. I may be wrong but it seems the Sadducees leaned toward reincarnation.

Hell doesn't exist in the Jewish religion. Why does Christianity have a Hell? Was hell supposed to be a bedtime story to keep people in line? Even Mormons have a different perception of hell than standard Christians.

I kinda like the thought of reincarnation. There are two movies I've seen that use it as a theory. What Dreams May Come, and Defending Your Life.

I've also wondered if heaven was going to be whatever you imagined it to be before you got there. For Muslims, 20+ virgins as a reward. For some Christians a halo and wings. (Heaven tailored to what you expect.)

I see reincarnation as a journey to better yourself, if you screw up you get another chance. Resurrection is a one-time deal. You have to be perfect before you are resurrected in order to make it to heaven. I don't see the fairness and justice, knowing that we are imperfect and expected to accomplish something which is unattainable.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Degrees of Glory

Why do we do "work" for the dead when the majority of them won't make it to the Celestial Kingdom? Even a good portion of "faithful" Mormons wont attain the highest degree of glory.

Why does our 80 to 100 years of mortal existence hold so much weight for eternity? God sent us here knowing we were going to fail. I don't see the justice in that. I wonder if God told us before we got here if we were going to fail or "make it".

What about Hitler? Was he predestined to murder thousands of people? Is it really his fault or is he following a "script"? I can almost see God saying to Hitler, "When you go down to earth you will be responsible for slaughtering the Jews." I can see Hitler weeping at what he was going to do.

Could the holocaust have been avoided by God? He could have had Hitler die at a young age and never commit any atrocities. Could it be that if he lived anywhere else, would he [Hitler] have had the same outcome? Would he have been a better or worse person? Guess what, Hitler still goes to heaven.

If this life is a test, it is like taking a test without any directions or even knowing what the subject of the test is. I image you have a scan-tron card but no test booklet. You are allowed to ask your neighbor for the answers which may be wrong or right. However, the neighbor on the right thinks it is a math test, and the neighbor on the left thinks it is an English test. Neither have solid proof on why they believe what kind of test it is.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Wifery of JS

There is conflicting information available about how many wives Joseph Smith Jr had. Some say as many as 48 while he was alive. But from what I read Joseph openly spoke against polygamy. Emma his first wife claimed Joseph never had additional wives. Also it appears that Joseph was married to about 12 other women who were married to other men simultaneously.

I hate to say it, but it seems a bit off. Church historians have confirmed he taught that polygamy was a true concept but denied ever condoning the practice. But yet he had polyandrous and polygamist wives. Some as young as 14 years old all the way up to women in their 50s.

Some of these marriages appear to be non-sexual because some of his [Joseph's] wives would stay with their current husband. But there is reasonable proof that the other marriages were of a sexual nature. I read a mob in Ohio wanted to castrate Joseph because he had sexual relations with a young girl.

The Church really puts Joseph Smith on a pedestal as a prophet. But it is hard for me to believe such things when it looks like his sexual desires are insatiable. I know I am going to offend every person who reads this. But these are genuine concerns of mine.

I was blindly following the guidelines of the church. This is one of the reasons why I had to discontinue any active part within the church.

Another thing I have a hard time with is God coming down and having "sex" with his daughter, Mary, to create Jesus Christ. My wife Deb thinks that Mary and God were "married" in order to go about it the "right" way. If that were true that would be another polyandrous marriage. What happens to Joseph? If I had a choice between a supreme being and a mortal man, I'm going with the supreme being. A sure ticket into heaven. My guess is Mary would do the same.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

As I was going to St. Ives....

Well, I've been curious about Orson Hyde. I've done some research and found out Orson had eight wives back in the day. (Please correct me Pappy if I'm wrong, since I'm sure you are a wealth of knowledge with regards to our family.)

I know polygamy was part of the Hyde clan for many years. How does that work on genealogy records? I bet it is a nightmare. I don't even know what relation I have to Orson. If I remember right, his brother was our great, great, great, ... (I don't know how many) grandfather.

I don't think he was sealed to all his wives and I think he shared a wife with Joseph Smith. What a train wreck of confusion. How does all that work out in terms of doing work for the dead? Was his "work" considered done or did sealings get done afterwards?

Marinda Nancy Johnson Hyde Smith? Marriage to Orson Hyde in September 1834 and then married to Joseph Smith in April 1839. Then got divorced from Orson in 1870. I am so confused. I didn't even know polyandrous was even a word.

I know Dad should be able to correct any of the things I posted here. The Internet isn't a completely reliable source.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Friday, October 24, 2008

Orson Hyde and the 24th of October

I never knew this but this is kind of a wierd correlation. Orson Hyde did the dedicatory prayer for the return of the Jews on October 24th, 1841.

Three years earlier on the same day he had signed an affidavit with Thomas B. Marsh which describes the intentions of the Mormons was world domination. The Battle of Crooked River takes place the next day. Then the extermination order by Gov. Boggs goes into effect on the 27th of October.

I wonder if Orson did that on purpose to redeem himself from leaving the church just a few days earlier on the 19th. It is one thing to leave the church and it is another to persecute the church. So on the 3rd anniversary of signing his affidavit, he blesses Jerusalem.

The above photo is Orson Hyde Memorial Park in Jerusalem.

I also found a 500 page biography available at

Monday, October 20, 2008

What a downer.

There is a reason why I chose this video. My Deb would say something that was negative and then I would do the trumpet sound, "Wha-Wha". Everyone would start laughing.


Chances are you wont like this video if you are over 40 years old. I won't be offended if you dont watch it. You will probably be offended if you do watch it.

Long ago
Just like the hearse you die to get in again
We are so far from you

Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate
The lives of everyone you know
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)
From every heart you break (heart you break)
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well I've been holding on tonight

What's the worst thing I could say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Came a time
When every star fall brought you to tears again
We are the very hurt you sold
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)
From every heart you break (heart you break)
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well I've been holding on tonight

What's the worst thing I could say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
Well if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Can you hear me?
Are you near me?
Can we pretend to leave and then
We'll meet again
When both our cars collide?

What's the worst thing I could say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
Well if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Friday, October 17, 2008

What Film Is This?

And why is my lunch now on the family room floor?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Monday, October 13, 2008

Friday, October 10, 2008

Guess the movie

You know me. I'm the same as you. It's two in the morning and I don't know nobody.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

MOTD - Movie Of The Day - MOTD

Man's reach exceeds his imagination!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Eman Taht Eivom !!

Even their robots are insolent.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Name that mooooovie!!

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Name that movie!!

Anyone remember this?

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I Hate The Wizard...

The only Oz I like is Ozzy Osbourne. The other can can get in his hot air balloon and crash somewhere in Albuquerque. I used to like the movie, the 1st and maybe 2nd time I watched it. I just don't like whiners. Every character in that movie is a whiner, except for the dog.

I also detest the song, "Somewhere over the Rainbow". It seems I can't get away from it. I stopped watching American Idol, partly because the song is overused.

Every idiot who goes about singing Somewhere over the Rainbow should be boiled in his own latte, and buried with a cordless microphone through his heart.

I did, however, come across the first arrangement that I actually like. I first heard it the movie, 50 First Dates. Adam Sandler is a deranged lunatic, but I like him, and about half the time he puts out a decent movie.

I included the arrangement for SOTR to my playlist for you guys to enjoy.

And for further enjoyment, how many things are different between these two photos of the movie, 50 First Dates? Post your answer in comments.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


Be sure to post who you are in the comment section.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I'm Not Iron Man

Well, I decided to have the Doc check out my physical well-being. It seems those in the family are like superheros, but we all have one weakness that we have to overcome.

It turns out I don't have the iron problem that "Jor-El" has. I'm beginning to accept that I have respiratory weakness. Asthma and alergies seem to be my kryptonite in addition to years of untreated sleep apnea.

I know I've had this problem for a long time. I remember Chris jumping off his bunk and shaking my bed to get me to stop snoring.

So my ferratin is fine, but borderline diabetic. From what I read, shedding my excess weight should solve all my other issues. So I'm making small changes to my diet which have been helping a little. I'm consulting with my Doc on a monthly basis to monitor progress or regress.

So fellow superheros here is how I imagine you guys. Let me know if I am off and what superhero you really are.

Dad = Iron Man
Mom = Jean Grey (AKA Ms Marvel)
Becky = Storm
Jennifer = Electra
Chris = Spiderman
David = Incredible Hulk
Melissa = Wonder Woman
Emily = Rogue
Dara = Invisible Girl

Monday, September 22, 2008

Walking In The Air. -- Rocker Style

It looks like everyone has this song on their playlist. So I found one to put up.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Ode to Red Box

When’er I go to Walmart, to pick up grocer-ies,
I get a dollar movie, sometimes two or three.

I see the big red box, full of DVDs.
A myriad of choices, I can’t wait and see.

I can not go to movies, my funds are dwindl-ing,
My bank account is empty, 'cause four-dollar gasoline.

8000 rental boxes, there’s one near you and me.
One dollar by the night, thank goodness no late fees.

Should I chose Action, or Documentary,
Doesn't really matter, it’s practically free.

When I have no money, that’s OK you see.
I’ll just head on down, to the public library.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Comic Books Are So Pedestrian

I took Matthew to the public library two Monday's ago. He started a comic book series called Naruto. We asked the librarian where we might find the books. She politely corrected me, "They are called graphic novels now."

Okay then, graphic novels. So Matthew picked out two of them and finished them before the end of the following day. We went a few days later and he picked out 8 more. He wanted more, but 8 is the limit. So I guess you could say he was blackballed.

I used to be quite an avid collector of comic books, now called graphic novels. The term Graphic Novels is not as "pedestrian" as comic books I suppose.

One of my favorite graphic novels... okay, who am I kidding? One of my favorite comic books is Groo The Wanderer.

Where's Groo (Waldo)

Why is Groo special? He has an IQ of less than 10. His dog is smarter than him. He likes cheese dip. He has good intentions. He always makes the wrong decision. He manages to sink every ship he sets foot on, unless his dog is on board. His luck is such, that if he went to Vegas and played slots, every time he pulled the lever someone else would win the jackpot.

Can you say... "A Loser's Hero"? Put all that aside and it is really a clever comic. Ask any 35+ year old geek out there and they know who Groo is. Now I'm going to turn the rest of you into geeks too.

Thursday, September 18, 2008


Another hobby of mine is baseball cards. I started collecting sports cards when I was a kid. Usually I acquired them at Halloween time. I salvaged the ones that Chris had and added them to my own.

I have old football cards, Star Wars, Jaws, James Bond, and others. I kept the collections for potential monetary value in the future. Now I doubt I would ever part with them. What was once worthless is now priceless.

I decided to add to my collection several hundred vintage baseball cards which I acquired on eBay. I'm sure I have some valuable cards, but does it really matter? All these baseball cards remind me of the movie, Field of Dreams.

I realized what I was pursuing ended up not being what I really wanted or what I had. I purchased the cards as investments, and they have become something that I will pass on to my kids.

In the movie, Ray asks Shoeless Joe Jackson, "What's in it for me?" Joe asks back, "Is that why you did this, for you?" Great movie, it has a lot of universal truths.

So where am I going with this train of thought? Well, about two or three weeks ago I had a self realization. What would I do and how would I spend my time if I had six months to live? What would my regrets be and what would I try to enjoy during that time?

It boiled down to one thing... time with family.

I gathered my family together and said... "I have six months to live." I was trying to be dramatic and get a reaction out of my kids. What I did get was blank stares.

I explained why I made that statement. Then I made a commitment to the kids and Deborah. I would invest time in each member of the family. Monday for Matthew, Tuesday for Christina, Thursday for Nolan, Friday for Deborah, and the whole family on Sunday.

The kids look forward to this time. They even claim ownership of the day. "Today is my day with Dad." That small investment is bringing a very large return. Ray Kinsella's journey brought his father to him and mended a broken relationship.

At the end of the movie, John Kinsella (Ray's dad), asks "Is this heaven?" Ray replies, "It's Iowa." John says "Iowa? I could have sworn this was heaven."

Ray asks, "Is there a heaven?" John replies, "Oh yeah. It's the place where dreams come true."

This is my field of dreams.