Monday, December 29, 2008

Crazy Dreams

I had this weird dream man. And you know how you like have a nightmare and it's so intense, even your leg tries to wake you up?

Your leg's like, "GET UP!"

Your leg kicks awake. And you wake up. This was the dream right. I was being chased by a giant crab. It's not funny. This huge like 50 foot crab.

He was chasing me down a beach and he was doing that crab run where he was like snapping at me with his little snappers. And he was after me all night long... he was trucking. He was doing like 100 miles an hour.

You know like when you're bring chased by a killer or a beast? In the dream they can run as fast as they want but you can't.... you're like "AH COME ON, I CAN'T MOVE!!"

But the crab is like eh... and his eyes were like shooting lighting out of its eyes and he was wearing little loafers or something. I dunno. Oh, my leg just went "GET UP!" And I woke up for like a second and then I went right back into the stupid dream. Which only happens with a nightmare.

If you're dreaming you're having a great time on a cruise, on vacation or whatever. You know how you like wake up and you pretend you're not awake? You try to trick yourself. Oh no! I'm not awake, I'm in Cancun! Nooooo!!!

But I fell back into the into the dream and the crab was like waiting for me. He was like UGH.... And I was like "NOT AGAIN!" All night long. And then I woke up and I called my buddy Mike. I had to tell somebody, he picks up the phone...

I'm like "Dude I had the weirdest dream last night."

And he goes all concerned, "What was you dream?"

I go,"I was being chased by a giant crab."

"What?! ... Dude, what?!" All the sudden he's like "Hold on!" and I hear like pages. *flip flip flip flip flip*

I go, "Dude what are you doing?"

"I have a dream book. I'm looking up crabs to see what they represent in my dream book. Dude, here it is... Crabs! Hold on Crabs. Uh crab....... um.... uh... it represents....... Dude.... you're gay......."

"That's why you were running away... cuz a crab represents sexuality cuz it doesnt know which way its going, and that's why you ran away. You were running away from your gayness!"

I said, "What about the lightning?"

"Uh... emphasizes the gay! That's what it says. If there's lighting around the crab, you're super gay. That's what it says right here. Super gay.

He wasn't wearing loafers was he? OH NO! Cuz that would mean you were mega ultra gay like a super hero gay!"

I don't think his dream book is very accurate.


Trillium said...

Uh. Like. Go.



Anonymous said...

LOL! I have had dreams where I am running and it's slow-mo...blah...And you get more and more anxious because you are trying so hard.
I have a REALLY hard time believing you are repressing your "gayness." LOL!
glrul: the noise giant 50 foot crabs make.

Jen said...


Zaphod said...

It must be nice to be really happy all of the time.

Katscratchme said...

That was funny as all heck!
Ben liked it so much, he's going to have our roommate read it too. :P

Chris said...

I'm gay too! Not.